Some of the reasons couples seek therapy:

• Different opinions regarding important areas of everyday life (money, friends, relatives, education, religion, alcohol/ substance use)

• Communication problems

• Recurring conflicts

• Absence of emotional intimacy or sex

• Sexual problems

• Infidelity

• Lack of trust

• Dependence

• Infertility

 

Schemas

At the beginning of a relationship, there is a powerful chemistry between two people, which attracts and binds them to each other. As time goes by, this very chemistry can result in conflicts. Usually, these conflicts have the same pattern and are linked to personal schemas (emotionally intense beliefs), that every person develops in early childhood and that continue to influence their thoughts, actions and feelings througout adulthood. In conflicts couples experience so called "schema clashes", where each partner´s schema triggers the other´s partner schema. Negative emotions and reactions occur, thereby escalating the situation. Partners very often do not find a solution to resolve the conflicts and feel disconnected from each other. This can result in a dysfunctional relatioship.

 

How can couples therapy help?

First of all I will help you carve out your and your partner´s personal schemas and help you understand how those schemas developed. You and your partner can benefit from a safe and supportive environment to express your needs, fears and worries. This process will help you and your partner to develop a deeper understanding of each other, and rekindle the connection between the two of you. The next step is to learn how to intentionally change your habits towards each other to improve your relationship in the long run.